Tuesday, August 6, 2013


This has been such a crazy week that I forgot all about blogging.  Strange, I know, but it really did happen.
Saturday, we found out our pastor is leaving to take a position on staff at a much larger church in another state, his home state, TN.  It is a step up for him, definitely.
Sunday I did okay but lost it when one of the deacons came by, shook my hand, didn't say a word and looked like he had been crying.   I couldn't look at our pastor during the sermon.  I left like a rocket after the closing prayer because I didn't want to stand around and blubber.
During about 24 hours, I went through all of these emotions:
1 - shock
2 - sadness
3 - depression
4 - anger
5 - acceptance
Yes, I was shocked but have felt for several years that he would be on staff at that church someday but to replace the Senior Pastor.  It may happen still.
Yes, sadness because a loss of relationships causes sadness most of the time ALTHOUH some loss of relationships is one big huge relief.  Sadness because I was trying really hard to trust another pastor.  Now I think, why bother?  Bum attitude.
Yes, depression, not spiritual, I know, but hey, depression is a part of life, even in Bible people.
Yes, anger, at men, why does our church have to be messed up to make a bigger church better.....boo.
Yes, acceptance, why be upset, nothing little old me can do about it anyway.  He and his family are going to leave no matter what so deal with it, girl, talking to self.
For quite awhile now, I have told The Hubbie I wanted to go live on an island.  Saturday, in the car, I was moving my hands like a hula girl.  What is that?  I said, you ready to go live on that island? 
The money we have wouldn't buy an island, maybe a row boat, wonder if we could live in a row boat?
Life hurts.

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