Wednesday, December 27, 2017

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU

Dear Aaron,
 
This is the first Christmas we have spent without you being in our home.  Everyone was here but you.
 
Little did I know that last year, it would only be a few weeks before you would be gone for every Christmas.
 
My heart is literally crumbling.  The day was so hard.  I made it through without crying but didn't the next.  Today is even worse.  Tears are coming and I cannot stop them.
 
Every one is gone.  Malinda and the kids.  Angela and her family.  Jared and his wife.  The sadness is overwhelming.  I've done almost nothing these past days. 
 
When Malinda and the kids were here, without you, it was so hard to see the three of them.  They are all so sad.  Sad living alone without their Daddy and husband. 
 
It still does not make sense to me.
 
Yes, I still believe in God.
 
I still know it is part of His plan.
 
Still, the part I do not understand is why you were so sick, suffered and died when we prayed so hard for healing.
 
 Why you died!  Why?!
 
You were and are still needed here.
 
You were still loved.
 
You were a good person.
 
2 and 2 will never make 4 again.
 
Love to you Son,
 
Your Mom

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